Diving In

This is completely new to me. I've been staring into unfamiliar waters from the safety of the shore for a long time, debating and deliberating whether to go ahead and dive in. There's so much metaphor and symbolism when I think about water; the irony is, I can't swim. I never learned and now, approaching 40, I tell myself it's too late, I'm too old, too fat to learn. The reality is that it's not too late until I'm unable to try, 40 isn't old at all and the extra blubber would actually help me stay afloat. The only thing stopping me is me. I'm using my irrational, unfounded fears as excuses to stay out of the water because what I'm really afraid of is drowning. The same can be said for this website, this new venture, this blog post even. I've been so afraid of failure, of drowning that I've put obstacles in my own way, preventing me from diving in. It'll never work, I'm not good enough, there are already so many counsellors out there doing the same thing. Well any or all of those things could be true but I'm fresh out of excuses and I've submerged myself in the unknown. If I can keep my focus, go with the flow and keep reaching forwards, maybe I'll find calmer waters where the depths push me up and I become buoyant.